i want to create a tv show about a group of friends where they’re all queer except the one token cishet friend who’s only there to say stereotypical “straight” things for laughs like “macklemore got me into rap” and “my mom and i got into a fight because she wouldn’t buy me a fourth obey snapback”
Or we could just stop stereotyping people.
my parents split after they made me. i am a volcano. they are tectonic plates. follow for more geological humour.
i really hope the two people who just followed me aren’t looking for geological humour or you are going to be earth-shatteringly disappointed
this post is one of my best by a landslide
Stab wound? You mean extra pocket.
nobody on this website should be allowed outside i swear to god
You mean something like this?
burn the witch!
Damn I miss blowing glass…
I’ve always wanted to try it.
I wanted to get into this so badly, but after my first day my arms had swollen up and turned such a bright shade of red just from being around the heat that I gave up (which I sort of regret.) Maybe another day!
i hate pants that make it look like i have a boner when i sit but then i remember im a girl but i still worry that somebody will think i have a boner
Do… Girls really worry about this?
i hope you fall in love with someone who makes you question why you ever thought you would be better off alone
very fucking punny you shits
with all the actual humour, tumblr still finds “teeth” the funniest thing.
ALRIGHT SO IT’S 2:30 IN THE MORNING AND I WAS JUST ABOUT TO FALL ASLEEP AND THEN I SAT UP AND ALMOST SCREAMED BECAUSE I WAS STRUCK WITH REALIZATION AND I DISCOVERED THE ULTIMATE TRUTH OF THE UNIVERSE
TELETUBBIES ARE CALLED TELETUBBIES BECAUSE THEY HAVE TELEVISIONS IN THEIR STOMACHS
Nicki Minaj speaking on why she hired Vlogger Beat Face Honey as her personal makeup artist
I know literally nothing about this woman or her music, but the more I see of her on my dash the more I respect the fuck out of her.
Via We're All Mad Here
My parents are both pastors and once I was fucking this one dude who’s dad was the pastor of the rival church and he whispered ‘talk biblical to me’ so i started reciting Psalms 23 and we ended up getting into a competition of who could recite the most bible versus before they cummed
you need less jesus